Thursday, February 15, 2007

He Didn't Buy Me Chocolates

I ended up not going to work yesterday. Wasn't feeling too hot, but we ended up having so much to do that day that Rigid dragged me out of the house. I felt awful. He wanted to start off our Valentine's Day right from the get go. He was very happy to see me first thing in the morning, but I wasn't about to do anything while my mother was sleeping in the next room. Our walls are paperthin, so when faced with the idea of making love or going to the DMV...I chose the DMV.
Forget about how sick I felt. No, I shot out of bed and got ready so I could finally go change my name. Before we get him sorted in the country I have to change my name because it could hold up his paperwork. You know, I don't have a problem with it. I've already changed my social security card to my married name, but I just haven't gotten around to anything else. I don't see why I have to get my drivers license changed just to prove that I'm married and plan to stay married.

It's nothing but a bunch of bullshit. I HATE MEN. Yeah, I said it. Men don't have to change their fucking names when they get married. Women do. And for some MORONIC reason the likes of which still befuddle me if we don't change our names it means that we obviously don't plan on being married for very long. What kind of fucking sense does that make? Fuck you bastards that think a marriage isn't valid unless your woman changes her name. Fuck you in the hairy ass with a splintery wooden stick. You DICK!

So we went to the DMV and when we got there my lovely Valentines Day sweetheart asked me if I grabbed the marriage certificate on the way out of the house as I was about to step out of the car. I slowly turned my head and looked at him. The look of wonderment said it all I think because he immediately put his hand on the ignition and said, "So I take it you didn't get it? I told you we needed the Marriage Certificate for the form." "Um, Yeah," I said, " you told me while I was putting on my makeup too. Not bright. You knew it was right in front of you in my briefcase why didn't you just grab it?" We both inhaled deeply and made our way back to the house. We weren't exactly happy about it, but we were both determined not to let it ruin our day. It's a happy day.

On our second trip back the DMV people gave us a number and I began to fill out the form. After I got done fucking up the first form and completed the second we sat down to wait....and wait....and wait....and wait....*tummy growls* ....and wait...and wait...."I'm starting to get the feeling we should have eaten before we got here." I said. When Rigid opened his mouth to tell me he was "Fucking starving" too everyone within a 10' radius turned to look at us. You don't get too many white people in that area and that's an understatement so when you throw in a white dude with an English accent your in for a treat. Makes you feel like you should be in the circus. I've learned to tune it out a bit but it's a little hard when he starts cursing. It's cunt this, bollocks that, knob jockey this, twat that. The Hispanic victims unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity don't always understand what he's saying, but they get the idea that it's bad. This usually results in them shuffling their little babies as far away from us as they can. Come to think of it it's kind of cool, I should let him do it more often.

They eventually called out number and when they did I walked ALLLLL the way around to the other side of the DMV office. Just my fucking luck that when I get up to the window the stupid long nailed funky looking short twat sitting before me told me that they couldn't possibly accept a photocopy of my marriage certificate and that whoever told Rigid that they could was wrong. "Your fucking shitting me. That a fucking joke right? You can't accept the copy? The guy at the front told me you could accept a copy. That's fucking bullshit. This place is a fucking joke." he said. He didn't direct that whole comment at her exactly like that, but you could see he got to her. I felt bad so I just made an appointment for Friday because at this point I thought I would pass out. We were both hungry and grumpy.

He took me to Gloria's Restaurant for lunch. Usually I only like the breakfast items, but it was too late for that. Unfortunately the wait was obnoxious and I was annoyed. I was also annoyed about the fact that every other girl I saw was in pink and TOTALLY dressed up as if they were going out to dinner. It was idiotic. There were pink and red balloons all over that restaurant and I wanted to pop each an every last mother fucking one because I was NOT in the mood for Valentine's Day. That and Gloria's, an everyday restaurant that we frequent was NOT my idea of romantic and early on (probably before we even got there) I realized that I wasn't getting a romantic dinner. That our lunch at Gloria's would be it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The molcajete
Will the visits to glorias ever end? He cant live without his molcajete. Sometimes hes more mexican than me. ~Maha's Mobil

I took the pic above on my cell phone, I figured this would also be the only memory of this day I could have since I didn't know we were starting our "Valentine's Day" thing after the DMV. He did buy me a little rose from a vendor that came table to table and I did enjoy watching him eat. I always enjoy watching him especially when he's eating Mexican. The picture's a bit blurred but his food is sitting in a red hot volcanic rock mortal and pestle type bowl. They're called Molcajete's, hand carved bowls with little feet. The thing is piping hot and it's got a variety of food. Chilies, green onions, goat cheese, nopales (cactus), carne asada (flank steak), pollo (chicken) and salsa all grilled and tossed into the red hot Molcajete. Have you ever seen an Englishman eating a cactus over a Molcajete? Have you ever seen one take a giant chunk of a very spicy chilie and follow it with a chunk of steak wrapped in a torn off piece of tortilla with scooped up rice, beans and guacamole?

I haven't, though I did have to teach him the tortilla scooping thing. The first time he ordered a Molcajete he tried to attack it with a knife and fork. I laughed so hard I nearly fell under the table. He was trying to use the edge of the bowl to cut his meat. It didn't take him long to figure it out but it still fascinates me. I know he's not the only one, but he's my only one and that's enough for me to sit and stare at him while he chows down his Mexican food. And trust me, if your in England and you think you've had a burrito you're out of your mind.

We were stuffed after a while and even Rigid couldn't finish his molcajete. It's so much food, probably enough for two.

Gift gone awry
This was supposed to be my big valentine's day gift. Poor rigid, he tries so hard. ~Maha's Mobil

After lunch we headed on over to the mall. He'd already told me what he was buying me for Valentine's Day so since I took the day off he figured he'd just take me along to the mall. boy was that a bad idea because it ended up costing him more money than he expected. Never take me to the mall on a holiday. I'll guilt you into buying me everything I want without even saying anything. I CAN NOT BE DENIED!!!!! muahahahahaa My jedi mind powers are something to be reckoned with....First to Macy's where I shopped for shoes. Okay, so I wasn't about to pay $100 for a pair of JLo shoes. First...JLo? WTF and

I settled for a nice Guess wallet. I've never had a Guess anything and it wasn't that expensive so fuck it. I needed a new wallet. After I was done torturing him there, he really needed to pee you see and I kept stopping to show him all the purses I wanted to buy and the glasses I wanted to have, but eventually he ran away. I heard something like this, "Fuck this I need to take a piss and your taking the piss making me wait." Blah blah blah. IT'S MY DAY! haha! So I ran as fast as my chubby little legs would go to catch up so I could direct him to the nearest bathroom. 'Hopefully I didn't piss him off and he'll buy me more stuff!!!', thought I.

By the way whoever thought of family bathrooms is an idiot! Men, women and children can now go to these family bathrooms together all at the same time to shit and piss as a loving family. I had the misfortune of going into the bathroom after a man had just used it. I held my breath when I walked in, how I didn't throw up I will never know because I accidentally took a whiff as I exited. WHY oh WHY didn't I use the bathroom Rigid was in???? Good lord. As we walked arm in arm outside I began to cough into his arm. I gagged and choked down whatever it was that came up. FUCK I hate that, and then to top it off he starts saying something about chocolate pudding coming out of that mans ass and some other bullshit which made me gag even more. The marks on his arm where I dug my nails into him are probably still there. Stupid fucker. What would he have done if I had thrown up all over him? Guys are stupid.

But I got over it because I was really looking forward to my book, 'course if your any kind of fan you know the book won't be out until July SO I was pretty sure he was wrong. He yelled at me this weekend over this though so I just let him go through with it. When we got there he was thoroughly disappointed to find that the book hadn't actually been released yet so he put it on reserve. The extra special edition in fact. OOOOh, I was so impressed.

When you reserve it they ask you if you think Professor Snape is a friend or foe. I immediately said friend when they asked me, but I wonder why they ask me that? I'm intrigued to be sure. I can't wait for my super duper deluxe edition of Harry Potter. It's supposed to be the last one you know. (lol)
No chocolates?
Well i didn't get my harry potter book but i think i had more fun on my mini spree. Besides... Its on reserve. :) ~Maha's Mobil

After the Harry Potter fiasco we ran around the mall just looking around. I bought some lacy panties at Frederick's and those little shoes at hot topics. I also bought a blouse at another store. All in all I pretty much bought little things I wanted here and there, but I still didn't get any chocolates. Not that I really wanted any and not that I particularly need any given the amount of fat that currently resides on my belly but still...something was missing. Rigid may not be the most romantic guy in the world, but he certainly knows how to romance me. He made Valentine's Day all about me and ended my day with me curled up in bed and waiting for him to bring dinner home. It was so much fun and on top of all that I ended up getting my V-Day chocolate after all. Mom left two little candy bags my sister made for her kids friends at school. Hershey's kisses while watching Lost in your husbands arms on Valentines day are the best kinds of chocolate in the world. Not even Godiva's could compare.

Here's a little story (you know it won't be little so don't cry about it.) from last years Valentine's Day. I still can't figure out whether it was a good day or not...(click on the card!)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006
My Valentine and a Little History

1 comment:

Nathan J said...

see i told you would have a great day. the valentines day history was a bit tooooooooooooooo long!