Friday, August 29, 2008

Guess Who's back?

i can't even begin to tell you what a shithole of a day i've had... a week...

i haven't actually felt an anxiety attack come on from work issues in so long i had nearly forgotten what it felt like. for a while there rigid was bringing my attacks on until i learned to cope with my problems like a normal person. you know, kick him in the sack until he understands me.

i feel as if someone has me by the throat and is squeezing the piss out of me making the muscles in my neck feel like they're bulging and my shoulders feel like i'm wearing football padding. i used to call this feeling Charlie...Charlie my Oliphant. Charlie likes to sit on my chest and make my eyeballs bulge out of my skull until they pop.

i missed you Charlie but not that much. all i have to do is cry you away and i'll be right as rain. i just don't want to do it in the car. i need to breath... i need to be calm... i need to enjoy my shit life because the minute i start to feel sorry for myself everything will fall to pieces. can't have that now can we?

i'll be fine. any minute now i'll jump out of this chair, get into my car, turn on the radio, smoke a cigarette, chime in on utters and laugh. just laugh.

i'll be home in a minute.

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