Sunday, January 11, 2015

Rains, Rainbows & Habitats

I was dreaming. I knew I was dreaming because I'd had one too many adventures that evening and I was done for the night. Or morning if you will. I was getting ready to settle in for the evening with a nice relaxing smoke. Rigid was going to join me with a cigar. It was a special evening for some reason. As I headed towards the door I was surrounded by all my critters, but when I opened the door everyone scattered. It was raining. I couldn't see the rain

I woke up with a start this morning, the memory of my funny bunny dream still fresh in my mind. I was standing in the doorway admiring the rain I could not see or touch. There was pitch blackness outside my door. Nathan joined me at the doorway to comment on the rain we couldn't see. Our critter family not far behind. We asked the cats to join us, but they scampered as soon as they smelled the rain. Everyone but the bunnies. Lenore decided to charge right on out which shocked me. It wasn't like her to be so daring, bold though she may be. I caught that little white streak in the pitch blackness with ease. Her fur already sticking with wetness. Afraid she'd catch her death I turned only to see Ragamuffin dart out from under me. With Lenore in one hand I swiftly caught him by the scruff and slid him back in the house. "Gotcha!" I said, but not before he too was soaking. Funny, I didn't feel wet at all.

I was afraid they would get lost. "You're not going anywhere Rags. You're staying right here baby boy." I said. Strange, I never call him baby boy. That's always Nathan. When I woke up I was glad it was just a dream and my buns were safe and dry in my tiny apartment. The usual suspects were there to greet me this morning. Lenore, Artemis and....where's Muffers? I wasn't planning on being awake much longer. Too early on a Saturday morning, but Muffers didn't take his treat last night so the plan was bathroom, treat, sleep. I have to be careful when I make my way towards the living room since I never know when Rags will try to bowl me over. I walk gingerly around. Lenore not far behind when I spotted him on the floor. I stood transfixed wondering if this will finally be the day that his apparent death sleep will finally be not so apparent anymore. 'No, I'm sure I saw him breathing. Stop it.' I thought, but I kept watching. Blinking harder and harder to get the sleep in my eyes that I knew must be obstructing my vision. I forgot to breath.

For a moment I didn't want to touch him. I didn't want to believe. I knew how I'd get him out of his bunny death sleep. Treats. I quietly moved over to the treat bowl, never taking my eyes off him knowing that any second now he'll pop up out of his death sleep and knock me over to get to his nom, but he didn't move. Was I too quiet? Didn't I just hear the bowl jingle? Where's Lenore? She's usually on top of me by now too, but she was just standing next to me, watching him too. No... "Muffers." I said. "Get up boy." I was on the floor. I don't know when I got on the floor, but I touched him ever so slightly and I knew my Rags was gone. Just gone. I was beside myself beyond words. I yelled for Nathan who was still sleeping. We were shocked.

We grieved in a circle around my little bunny boy; Nathan, Me and Lenore. Lenore...she put her head down waiting for him to get up to groom her, but he didn't get up. She just looked at him, then us, then him. Maybe if I hadn't started wailing at that moment she would have stayed with him a little longer. I don't know.

Not long after we made preparations to move him to the Pet Cemetery. Meanwhile I wracked my brains trying to think where I went wrong. There was normal poop, normal food intake, one missed snack, normal urine output, no gas...there was motility. He was active, he was happy, he was playing and digging. There was nothing. No depression, no fear, no pain...nothing. Then why? Why??? What did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? I just groomed them both. He even got a trim. What? What was it? I could take him to the Vet to find out, but what would that accomplish? Open up my rabbit just to satisfy my curiosity, my vanity? No, straight to the cemetery.

The car was ready for us at the front door. Nate took Muffers first, I was putting my purse in the car, but when I got to the front door I nearly fainted. It was raining and for a second or two I was blinded by the brightness of it all. I couldn't see anything, but the rain. It took me a minute or two to catch my breath as I crumpled by the doorway, my purse and tote falling from my limp hands. The rain took my Mufferstopheles. He was gone. It was real.

I rode with the bunnies in the backseat all the way to the Pet Cemetery, Muffers covered on my lap & Lenore in her carrier. I wondered if I should sit them together for the ride home. The longer a bonded rabbit stays with it's deceased mate the easier the grieving will go. Or that's the idea anyway.

We didn't get our chance in the car, but the Pet Cemetery we go to do a fine job. The flowers aren't real, but they have a little grieving room and are allowed to take as much time as you need. We said our final good byes to our beautiful baby bun surrounded by beautiful plastic bouquets  and a gurgling little pet waterfall thing. It was beautiful. It was horrible. Watching Lenore say good bye to her Husbun was among the saddest fucking thing I've ever witnessed.

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