Last year The Morrigan, Mo for short, fell pregnant without my knowledge. The results were catastrophic. She lost all of her kittens within 3 days. And the enormous guilt I felt because I wasn't prepared for her kittens pushed me down so far that I was sure I'd be crawling on my belly in no time. I recovered of course, but for a while we all hurt. All of us.
Salem our other cat kept looking around for the kittens. She'd meow that funny question mark meow at us and look under the chase where the last kitten died. In the early morning hours Morrigan would be waiting for us. As soon as I'd step out of the bedroom she'd rush straight to the desk where the other kittens died tragically covered in ants like garbage. When I found them this way I was devastated. It was horrible. I really could never explain to myself why exactly it was so horrible either. They're just cats after all. Didn't matter though because no matter what my feelings were inexorably tied together with my pets and losing the babies, even though they were but hours old was an awful feeling. I felt that it was all my fault.
How could I not realize my cat was pregnant. She ran away for a few weeks and then came back, ate everything in site and got fatter and fatter by the bloody day! How could I be so ignorant. Well, it didn't matter. It's all over and there's nothing more to say about that.
Except this of course. About a month ago my mother was cooking something in the kitchen. One of her fantastically spicy concoctions. You know; The type that set off the fire alarm, makes your eyes burn out of their sockets and forces your nasal passageways to expunge everything and anything in it's path in a nice watery flood. That day I opened every single window in the house before I choked to death. There was one window though that I knew I couldn't open. The dreaded window. The very window that Little Momo accidentally rolled out of the first time she was lost. I decided that the circumstances called for it so I cracked it open just a little, approx 6 ". The spot Morrigan fell out of was way further in and there was no way they'd fall out of that.
Eventually the smoke cleared and the spicy air was...well, not so spicy anymore and we ate our food with delight. Mom cooks such yummy meals that after you eat them you forget all your worries...you forget everything. You even forget windows that kitties could jump out of and pregnant again. OKAY! I should have remembered and I also shouldn't have given my freakin' cat that much credit. The bitch didn't "accidentally" roll out. She pushed it open. How do I know that know? Because after New Years Eve I was TWO cat's short and when I realized it I checked on the window and there it was. Giant claw marks all over the screen. She pushed and shoved her way through until she made the small hole she'd made before even bigger. She went out and Salem followed suit just like last time. The only one that stayed behind was Artemis. She's still a little virgin and by the God's she will stay that way!!!!
Last time I went through hell. I never thought Morrigan would come home, but she did. We lost her little kitties, but we still had her AND Salem. We brought Artemis home because my sisters cat was pregnant around the same time as Morrigan and her kittens were being murdered by my niece and nephew in very tragical "accidents". We saved Artemis's life and Morrigan took her on as a surrogate momma. Their bonding was a beautiful site. Morrigan allowed Artemis to suckle far beyond what any other cat would allow. She stopped wandering around under the desk and under the chase and grew nice and comfortable with Artemis. It was really nice to watch. Now that she came back a few weeks ago she's returned to that dark kitty place. The place where no kitty dares to look. She's there, in that dark place watching you...waiting. Her pregnant belly grows and grows and her eyes watch and watch and if any cat so much as gets within 2 feet from her she spits, claws and threatens to chew their heads off.
My cat is one scary ass bitch, but she loves Rigid to death and won't leave him alone for one minute. OH, forget about me! No, she can ignore the crap out of me and even swat at my feet when I'm trying to keep them warm on her fur. Brat! What a ho bag!
By our calculations if she is in fact pregnant she should be giving birth end of February or early March. So on top of preparing for my exam I have to prepare for kittens. I'm really hoping that we don't end up going through what we went through the last time, but at least I know I have a lot of friends for support.
Here are some of the lovlery people, only some because I got a lot of private messages as well, who commented when I posted about the last little kitty death. *snif* No...I'm okay. :)
Comments about this Blog post
Ghost Dog 3 06-21-2006 Sorry to hear. *Gives hug*
Grashman 06-20-2006 So sorry to hear your sad news :(
Cat Mac Daddy 06-20-2006 say girl I haven't heard from you is everything ok? I hope so anyway drop me a line.
Klunkk 06-19-2006 I'm sooo sorry hun , thinking of you , xx
Djanae 06-18-2006 Noooo :( *hugs*
Phorexia 06-18-2006 Once again I'm sorry. Hop on MSN some time. : gives hug :
Adversegecko 06-18-2006 im so sorry *hug*
TW Dogface 06-17-2006 I'm still sorry to hear about this, but hopefully things will go for the better the next time around. Don't blame yourself, it'll be ok.
XideoXPG 06-17-2006 ouch :(
Cat Mac Daddy 06-17-2006 I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do. Just give mama kitty a hug for me.
ExGirlfriend 06-17-2006 so sad... :(
Now, I am a little nervous about it, but I'm looking forward to it this time around. I think I'll be better prepared after this one and everyone around me is looking forward to the new additions. We already have homes the kitties would be going into and if not we'll find them some very special people.
When the kitties were born Misty offered to do something with all my little video clips, but when they all died I couldn't deal with it. Maybe if Mo has her kitties and I'm able to do some clips she or some other helpful person can give me a hand with putting them together for a little mini movie. :) hee heeee I'm so happy. If you saw me you'd say I don't look happy, but that's just the drugs. Believe me. I'm happy. lmao!
he's not mine, i just thought he was cute! LOL
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