i'm a dork. there's no reason why i should be awake at the moment. i should be showered and in bed in nice clean pj's, but my hand has been killing me all day long so i popped two vicodin and now i'm not so sleepy. course this was a few hours ago and it's fading, but the nervous itchies haven't faded. in fact they're getting worse and i don't see myself falling asleep any time soon. i keep having to stop to scratch. vicodin affects my nervous system. feels like ants under my skin.
anyway, going through some really rough times financially speaking and it just doesn't seem to be getting any better. but i've devised a new plan. keep my money out of the fucking blood sucking bastard shit eating fucktard fuck fuck fuck shit bastard ( i think i already said that) bank. yeah. sounds like a good plan to me. so i'll only pay my crucial bills and i've already submitted paperwork to segregate my personal income from our joint income so i don't have these fucking stupid ass issues of over drafting my account and suddenly finding that i can't pay my rent because i needed a pack of cigarettes or rigid needed fucking coffee at work. that my friends is a mistake i will only allow to happen once.
on a happier note, i've decided it's time that i spread my wings and make a little more of my hobbies. i've submitted one of my blogs to some creative writing website, can't remember the name, and i'll be submitting more work here and there and on other sites. we'll see what happens with that. if nothing else, at least i was brave enough to have my crap judged. even if i don't get any criticism back. it's fun doing it.
i've also decided to take my photography to the next level. i'm not exactly great, but i figure with enough practice i could only get better. it's not the greatest profession, but it's definitely something i do love and actually wouldn't mind giving up my weekends for. so what i did is i put up a post on craigslist offering my services at a ridiculously low rate. this way, i build up a portfolio and make a little bit of money on the side. i'll just keep doing this until i pass my exam.
which by the way will hopefully be soon because i can't take much more of this. i'm scheduling the exam for mid to late september. we'll see how that goes.
this was a pretty pointless post and i have so many other things to write about that i just haven't been able to touch on, mostly because i'd like to forget, but my brain won't let me move on until i do so until then i'll continue to suffer with all this garbage stuck in my head until i let it out.
so, with that said GOOD NIGHT!
OH! i didn't say. i already have my first event. i'll be taking pictures of about 40 families around Christmas time at a church near here. I'M SO HAPPY!!! I hope I do well. I'm going to try and keep my post fresh on craigslist and probably post it on other sites as well. i put together a more "professional" looking blog just for potential clients. heee hee, i feel like such a moron doing this, but shoot...we all have to start somewhere right? the site is www.sulestewartphotos.blogspot.com
i should probably post this on the blog somewhere, but some of the pics are either from my cell or taken on a crappy camera with vga size pics all the way to my little 5mp Sony Cybershot H1. they've been taken throughout the years as well so some of those are OLD. there's even a blurry pic of my little niece when she was just a baby. that picture was so cute i just had to include it. that was taken on a crappy digi cam. i have loads more pics and much better quality i think but i didn't think that lions, giraffes and crickets were the way to go. problem is i don't have enough portraiture to really get a gallery going. something i hope to remedy soon.
fine...i'm babbling again. off to bed.
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