Tuesday, November 25, 2008

mari disappearing for a while

A friend on Utterli decided it was time to leave her social networking life behind. Depressed, anxious and feeling out of control she did what a lot of people do online. Exit stage left only to come back for an encoure after enough praise and well wishes. We've all been there. When reality comes crashing down around you sometimes it's best to take a step back, reevaluate and fix, fix, fix those nagging little issues.

This was my reply to her post:

You know what Mari? I can’t blame you. Personally I’ve been in the same boat. Luckily what happens to me is I end up getting cut off by firewalls at work so sometimes I have no choice but to leave networks behind. Eventually when enough people jump online at work they’ll block access. So I end up losing contacts and certain friends. It actually makes it really easy for me to drop off the face of the earth. Should anyone choose to follow me elsewhere…great. If not, no big loss to me.

Still, we’re just here to “chill”…some are here to get some business going, get some writing experience out there. …get noticed. The truth is that it doesn’t really matter. We all keep in touch, we’re all interested in our little social group, but when you have too many “networks” and too much going on in your real life it can be really overwhelming. When things aren’t going well at home for whatever reason it makes it intolerable.

That’s kind of where I’ve been. I’m always bitching that I’m too spread out, I’m unfocused and I can’t finish what I start…sometimes I can’t even start anything at all and ideas will roam and roam in my mind until I’m just overflowing and not in a good way. It’s not like the nice overflow of creativity or insight…it’s like this horrible flooding torrent murky water. There’s so much going on, so many things I need to fix, get off the ground, stay on top of, follow up on, keep in touch with, feed, clothe, DEWORM that I’m just about going out of my FREAKIN’ skull. So, you let the small things go. The facebook friends, the myspace lists, the gamertags…gone. 

I haven’t posted a decent blog in months…MONTHS! I feel as if I’ve lost every ounce of creativity. I’ve even stopped studying for my commodities license. I just don’t care anymore. Maybe it’s that time of the year. You know, it’s Christmas time soon. We’ll see trees out there just after Thanks Giving Day. Gotta go to your Mom’s, Aunt’s, Sister’s, Brother’s…someone’s house and enjoy turkeylurkey with everyone. Like one big happy family. Just one more thing to do before all the Christmas shopping begins. Oh but wait, I have no money. I can’t pay my bills and IF I actually get a Christmas bonus it’ll be a miracle of Tiny Tim proportions. 

I could turn this post into a major bitchfest, but you know what? I’ll get over it. I’ll get on with my life, roll with the punches, dive bomb my ass into the thick turd water I keep getting drowned in, take a deep breath, light a candle, smoke a cigarette, pet my cat, kiss my husband, pile on some more makeup my pores REALLY don’t need and watch a movie. I’ll take care of everything else, one thing at a time, tomorrow and little by little everything will whittle away until I have to do it all over again. 

It never ends Mari…it never ends, but neither do friendships. Not really, and not if you make the right friends.

On that, take care of yourself. Utterli will be here if and when you decide to come back to us.
Sincerely ~ The Mighty Maharet…Girl Gamer, Killer Wife and Caretaker to WAY TOO MANY CATS Extraordinaire.

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