Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I befriended Ft. Benning on Facebook though. I don't know. Somehow it made me feel a little closer to Rigid. If there was anything I could do to feel a little more connected to him I would do it in a heartbeat.
Prior to this I added Ft Benning to my Flickr while at work. I stared and stared through picture after picture knowing full well I'd never see my husband. I tried to find his platoon or company or battalion on Flickr to no avail.
I spoke to our Ranger buddy here at work (he's a broker and an ex Ranger) and he tried to contact the Sergeants desk. I nearly peed myself I was so freaked, but he didn't care. No one answered, but he told me that the Flickr pic's of the platoon's we saw were probably just some PR move and the chances of me ever seeing my husband on Flickr would be...well...zilch. It didn't stop me from hoping and looking.
The day I added Ft. Benning to my Facebook account (which by the way I hardly ever used) was the best thing I had ever done for myself in my life. (Was it? Yeah, I totally think it was.) I looked and read and found out that they had this weird trivia thing. You win trivia and you get pictures of your soldiers company. Really? Trivia? I suck at Trivia, but I was happy to find out more.
I clicked the discussions tab and lo and behold I saw my husbands company right before my eyes. Rigid's company was a link on the discussion tab? Someone was talking about his company? His battalion? His freakin' platoon???? ZOMG Sign me up!
I followed and joined in the conversation and it wasn't long before a girl asked the more important questions EVER. Should I start a group for ECHO BLAH/BLAHBLAHBLAH? I was like HELL YEAH WOMAN! Let's go! And there we went. She sent out the invites and the few of us just jumped on in there right away. We struck up such a great relationship and kept up with each other and how we were feeling. The Sgt's Wife gave us pictures and eventually gave us video and so much information our heads reeled.
My heart was bursting with joy and pride and sorrow all at the same time. Some days I couldn't take it anymore and some days I couldn't get enough. I was always up and down and in some sort of cycle. I was so overjoyed so much of the time that I just wanted to give something back. The girls all wanted to meet at the graduation, but we didn't know how we would know who was who or how we would go about meeting up. How will we know we're on Facebook?
One day, with a lump in my throat, I asked our Faithful Leader what what she thought about Graduation Wands. A long printed ribbon with the graduation date and company name & number attached to a stick. That's basically all it is. Everyone holding this wand and waving it around like a maniac is a Facebooker and in our group.
The girls loved the idea and convinced me to sell them. It was such hard work. Gathering all the materials and getting everything to work together. It involved a lot of driving around the city and a lot of creativity believe it or not. It wasn't easy getting these things mailed and answering everyone's questions every other day. The worst part was having to make my own custom boxes because I couldn't find a box to fit the wands. I saved myself so much money making them myself out of discarded cardboard boxes. THAT was horrible and time consuming, but so worth it!
Today I mailed the last two orders. I’m so proud of myself and so very proud of my husband for everything he’s doing for us. In the beginning I was so against all of this almost to the point of hating him for putting me through this. I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but somewhere along the line I realized that I didn’t hate it at all. I was just worried that I wasn’t good enough for my husband. That I wouldn’t be supportive enough, wise enough or strong enough. I worried so much that I made myself sick. I kept telling myself that I didn’t support him or that I couldn’t support him and I felt like an awful wife. Turns out I was wrong. Dead wrong.
I mean if I really didn’t support my husband why would I have made over 140 ribbon wands for a bunch of hysterical women to wave around on Graduation Day right? Am I insane or what?
Mistimed: 3:31 PM