Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Untossed Christmas Tree Extravaganza
We’ve recently celebrated our 5th Anniversary. Now I’m starting to wonder how many Christmas’s we’ve actually had together. Ah, memory lane. Let’s see, 2004 our first Christmas was spent apart and we were only planning our wedding. We were married Nov 2005 and celebrated our very first Christmas as a happily married couple. I remember it like it was yesterday, I do…I just read the blog (I jest). In an effort to keep it short I’ll just tell you what he did wrong. He threw my Christmas tree into the corner of the living room because he didn’t want to take it off the roof of the car the same day we brought the tree home. Um…yeah.
In 2006 I just didn’t want to go through anything like that ever again and didn’t bother to get a tree which is just not like me AT ALL. I don’t think I’d ever in my life been without a tree on Christmas. I didn’t like it not one little bit. 2007 rolled around and I was at a quandary. Do I go yet another year without a tree or do I shove my fist up my husbands asshole and make him my puppet. My husband loves me to no end and this gives me all the leverage I need so I got my tree though it hurt a little. I waited until the last minute to get my tree and I don’t think I really decorated it much. By the time Christmas rolled around it looked awful. I can’t remember, but I’m sure he made me cry just buying it. Still, I was in bitch mode.
By the time 2008 rolled around I was ready for my tree, but it’s always the same thing with him. “Why don’t we get a fake tree. I always had a fake tree.” Or my favorite, “You’re not the one that has to pick up all he needles.” As if he actually picks up the needles by hand. I get it having a real tree in your house for a month can be hard work for like a day, but why is it so hard to simply enjoy the process and enjoy the beautiful warm glow in your living room? I can’t get into Christmas until I have my tree, I just can’t! That year I was unhappy with the crappy decorations I had on my tree so I went all out and bought new ones. My tree was beautiful, but I only got to enjoy it for about a week before Christmas. Last year it was about 2 weeks before Christmas, but for the first time getting a tree wasn’t as big a struggle as it was in the past. For the first time I brought a tree home without having first cried either before or after.
This year…we almost didn’t make it. I almost cried because he was starting up again. I complained that we get our tree at the same store every year. He didn’t feel like taking trees out to display (at this point he’d taken 3 out) to me so he dragged me to a Christmas tree lot where all the trees are beautiful and perfectly trimmed or flocked. I told him I wasn’t going to pay $100 for a tree and he looked at me like I was insane. Why would the tree cost $100? How ridiculous am I? I could feel the burning tears ready to come out, but I held back my emotions and just placated him by going along with it. After looking at all the beautiful trees I knew I wouldn’t be able to afford I finally asked him to check the price on the one little tree that was perfect for me. $99.99…. um that’s a far cry from $40 for a Noble Fir of the same height and width isn’t it? I looked at a Douglas Fir…$79. I could find a Douglas Fir for $19. FUCK YOU. I left.
We went back to my store and he took out all the trees I wanted him to. I found the PERFECT tree, but I didn’t bring it home because it was missing the whole top bit and I like to have a tree topper so I settled. I know Rigid doesn’t understand why I’m so crazed about my Christmas tree and I know that to anyone else it wouldn’t seem crazed at all. Rigid is a lazy person, so am I, but doing something that doesn’t interest him in the least is like asking Jabba The Hut to walk to the corner on his own two feet. It’s pretty much impossible…he doesn’t have any feet. What only should have taken 30 min’s took nearly 2 hrs because he was too busy either bitching or dragging his ass.
Suffice it to say we got our tree home in one piece and no one cried…this time...and it wasn't tossed into the corner.
Mistimed: 10:35 AM