Tuesday, February 7, 2006

Featuring Pumpo The Clown

An Xbox Live Gamer:

Today I'd like to feature a gamer near and dear to my heart. This is Pumpotheclown. You can catch him on www.myspace.com to read his posts.

I'd like to include his writing from this site as soon as I figure out how to do it of coure. I'll be featuring more gamers also, depending on participation levels of course but for the moment lets just take a quick look at one of Pumpo's old posts. Enjoy~Maha

"Ahhh I remember it, almost like it was all in the past. On that special day when Mary gave birth to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ, she must have been a brave woman. I've heard some girls say "There is no way you're going to stick that in me" Yes a very brave woman indeed, I mean God probably has like real fat junk... And I'm sure dropping that shit all the way down from Heaven, must pick up some speed along the way? All packed with Jesus juice and what not?

And what about Joseph? He got a sharp stick in the eye on this deal, it's like "Hey God's banging my virgin wife before I do, but hey, Naw I don't mind! I'll just sit on the porch and cry while God plants a deep one in center field!" And did you know Jesus had brothers and sisters, yeah he did. Can you just imagine how much that must have sucked to be them! Coming home from dessert rock throwing school or where ever they sent their kids to learn that important skill.

Okay you're 7 years old walking home with your pathetic elbow pasta picture that took you like half the day to make, because the stupid fat kid kept eating all the paste when no one was looking! And you're just swollen with pride, knowing that mom and dad are just gonna' love it. Then you walk in the front door and BAM! There’s fucking Jesus up on the coffee table saying "Look at meeee!" while he's shootin' fish and wine out of his ass or whatever he did for attention?

So fast-forward 20 something years, blah, blah, blah Romans and Jews, something bad. We all know how it ended, right? Anyways God gave his only begotten son to save our souls, and we're still paying for that shit now. Every year we spend more than we make. Just because we feel guilty, yes guilty! (So take that fucking look off your face right now!) Wouldn't you rather spend your hard earned money on a new pair of kicks, or some fancy little thing that caught your eye, than on some stupid jiggle me hard Elmo for your niece or nephew? You know it's just gonna' end up all trashed after they figure out that it's more fun to bash their brothers and sisters over the head with it.

Because Christmas is all about the family and stuff so enjoy it while you can before you become the "creepy" Aunt or Uncle. So have fun this year and remember to get on your knees and pray to whatever pile of sticks and stones you call God and give real thanks for the real miracles. Like porn, latex, flavored astrolube and those tiny bottles of booze that you steal off the cart on the airplane when no one's looking, oh yeah and bless who ever thought of taking Prozac and Viagra at the same time!" ~by Pumpo The Angry (and sometimes self centered) Clown LOL

No comments: