XBrood Live: Rigid Fall Down Go Boom
Friday, April 07, 2006
Rigid Fall Down Go Boom
Well I think I’ve just about had it. My husband fell off a ladder the day before yesterday. I was home cleaning the house because the stupid carpet people were coming into my house to finish it up and I didn’t want it to be a mess. I decided I didn’t want to clean the whole thing by myself so I figured I’d wait for Rigid to come home and help me. After all why should I clean the house by myself when were both working right??? Right. Well I sat my lazy ass down for a few games of Halo and had fun getting my ass kicked. My hand hurts so I don’t really bother playing seriously anymore.
Eventually Rigid made it in. When he got home he told me what happened. He fell off a 10 ft ladder!!! WTF? I wanted to know why he didn’t tell me earlier. I felt like such an ass asking him to help me clean the house after that! Apparently he didn’t want to worry me. Aw, what a sweetheart! That was sarcasm by the way. What did he think I was going to do? Start blubbering on the phone because he fell? I mean as far as I’m concerned if you can walk and talk and aren’t bleeding profusely get the fuck up and suck it up! I felt like an asshole for sitting there and playing while I waited for him to come home. Granted I’d already done most of the house, but still! He’s a sweetheart though because he cleaned the bedroom anyway.
This is what he said. He was going to hack at something with a saw on the gazebo he’s working on. He was at the top of the ladder and only shifted his weight slightly. That was enough to throw the ladder off balance. Instead of falling on his ass he decided he’d throw himself forward and hope for the best. He chucked the saw in one direction and did a swan dive in the other. Unfortunately he landed on another saw. Luckily it was only the handle, but he landed right on his sternum, which knocked the wind out of him. He lay there stunned for a few minutes and unable to speak. His boss in all his Scottish wisdom goes up to Rigid as he lay there and says, “I’m going to tell you what my boss told me the first time I fell off a ladder. Let that be a lesson to you.” Just imagine Sean Connery speaking to you, but not. Then he walks off laughing! Now that’s comedy!!!
Of course the day would not have been complete without one of our signature fights. We fought about why he didn’t tell me he was hurt. We fought about why I didn’t clean the house by myself. We fought about why Morrigan peed on my clothes in the bedroom. We fought about why Morrigan didn’t let him sleep the night before and that he’s going to kill her with his bear hands. We fought about why he didn’t pay the rent on time when he always have the money. We fought about the sink being backed up… I could go on, but my hand hurts. And of course we made up and went to bed happy and with full bellies. McDonalds is good when your tired.
The next day he woke up and his chest hurt pretty bad and was having a little trouble breathing so we went to the hospital. We were worried that his boss would lose the job their working on, but they just told the man their working for that he was in a car accident. No one need know he fell off a ladder right? He got some x-rays and an ekg done and he was all set. Dr said it was just a contusion. Fancy word for big mother fucking bruise yo. I’m literally laughing at the moment. At least they didn’t make us feel stupid for going in. You know they all say better safe than sorry right? Ai, que estupido!!!
Posted by Maharet at 2:48 PM