Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Serendipitous Lives

I gave the kitten a sideways glance. Her frantic meows pierced the air suddenly. I thought she must have been thrown out of the car on the freeway. My chest was constricted with pain and it was difficult to breath. I was fighting off an anxiety attack. I reached for my cell phone and called my boss. Was I going to work, was I turning around? My leg was aching more and more the further I drove and my clothes were a disaster. I cried out when my boss got on the phone and scared the living shit out of him. I told him I was fine and wasn't hurt, but my leg was aching. He asked me if I was coming in or going to the hospital...said maybe I should stay home, but I decided then and there to just go in.

I didn't want to miss another day and I was sure that the girls I back up would pick today to both miss at the same time. They've been doing that to me lately. He told me to be careful and not to crash, certainly not to jump out of any more vehicles. I laughed through my tears. My next call was to my husband. I'm still not sure if that was a mistake. Rigid needs to be coaxed into having compassion and understanding and now was not the time for me to help him through those issues. As he started to yell at me and demand that I explain what in the world ever would possess me to jump out of a moving car I gripped the steering wheel even tighter and he was there so I could punch him in the face.

After a few minutes, of screaming at the top of my lungs of course, he realized that now was not the time for idiotic questions. Now was the time for action. A horrible mistake was made on my behalf yes, but there was something far more important than that meowing insanely in my car and crawling around on my shoulder. Rigid actually suggested that he drive down to my work and pick up the kitten so I didn't have to sit there with a cat under my desk.

I accepted his offer and relaxed a little. As I drove into work I was met by one of the most irritating and obnoxiously annoying brokers I have ever known. I used to work for this anus. I can't fucking stand him. I got out of the car and quickly started to walk away, but he stopped me to ask me what the hell happened to my clothes. There was no way I could easily explain the white chalky streaks on my pants or the dirt on my hands and fingernails and shmutz on my face...so I told him. He laughed at me and asked me if I was okay and if the kitten was okay then said, "Yup, sounds like you alright. You are the most INsane person I've ever known."

I think that pretty much sums it up right? I could see where this day was going to go. Yeah, I did a terribly stupid thing, but people would just brush it off as 'no big thing'. You know, just another one of Michelle's silly stunts. Crazy Michelle...there she goes again. Sure enough, I got the, "Okay, don't jump out of anymore cars on the way home now." statement before, during and after work.

When I got there I tried to clean myself up. I didn't brink the kitten up with me. I left her in the car with the windows open. When I went back downstairs to give her water I turned her over to give her an inspection. There was these brown stings hanging out of her belly, but I wasn't sure what they were. When I turned her over she went completely limp in my hand. She looked like she was dying, but just a few seconds ago I saw her climbing the seat of my car trying to get to me. Strange I thought, but I just didn't have time. I looked at her eyes and they looked clear. Her mouth wasn't closing though and it had a gash on the side. No blood though. Was she dehydrated? Her mouth was so badly swollen that I wasn't sure she'd eat either. As limp as she was I didn't think she'd survive this. My heart was breaking.

I went back upstairs and did my work as I prepared to face Rigid. My thoughts were racing back to the strings. Something was tugging at my belly...thoughts I didn't want to have floated around in my head but I pushed them back and waited. I limped around my office trying to get as much done as I could. Believe it or not I was only 7 minutes late to work. "Officially" late. My boss doesn't mind if I get in between "6:30 and 7:00am" so I got here at 7:07 am. Not bad for a "Hero of the Day" kind of morning.

Rigid called me from his car. He was still angry at me I could tell and he said I should have thrown the cat out of the car. I should just let it out on the street where I found it. Screw it if it gets all kitty spaghettied out on the road. The spaghetti signifies the guts and all it's innards strewn like spaghetti all over the floor. Kitty spaghetti...Oh, spew.

I was starting to feel panicked again because I realized something. I have 3 cats. Even if the kitten survives which I didn't think it would, I still have 3 cats. I would have to find a home and fast. There was no time to think though because before you knew it Rigid was here. He stopped at my desk and bent over placing his hands on his knees as though he was out of breath and said, "I can't believe you did that Michelle. I just don't understand." I got up and jumped into his arms. He held me tight by my desk as my co-workers and boss pretended not to notice. He kissed my forehead and told me everything was okay. I was okay.

We went down to the car and picked the kitten up. He decided to inspect her in the light and she went completely limp again. Her eyes rolled back into her head and became little slits. He found the strings on her belly and said, "What the fuck is this? What the fuck is it? Is she sewn up?" I had no idea, but I was thinking the same thing.

I didn't want to imagine someone doing some sick experiment on this kitten. She was so beautiful and the though of someone maiming her beyond repair was too much to think on. I swallowed hard and told him to do his best to take care of her. We argued about what to do with her, but I had no time. I had to get back to work. I asked him to take her to the pet store next door. They have a pet rescue center there and maybe they could help. Again Rigid yelled and said, "She's dying Michelle! Look at her!! You should just throw her away. If not we have to put her out of her misery.", but I refused to accept this. I absolutely staunchly refused.

"No, she's fighting. Look at her. She's fighting to live Rigid! Her eyes are clear, her nose is dry yes, but her lungs are strong and healthy. Hear her meowing? She's limp because of the way your holding her! She's just a baby and she's obviously been domesticated can't you see that? She's a baby! She can't be more than 3-4 weeks old Rigid..." I said desperately trying to convince him to save a tiny little creature no bigger than the palm of his hand. Trying to convince myself to believe everything I said.

We parted ways a bit frustrated with each other, afraid for the kittens life and unsure of what steps to take now. I ran back upstairs and waiting for his call. He was going straight to the pet store but it was closed. He decided to go to the Save-On next door to get the kitten food and water. She looked hungry. He called me frantic because he didn't think she'd be big enough to eat solid food. I let him know that she was starving and she would eat. I once cared for a kitten that had been thrown from a moving vehicle directly in front of my friends as they walked home from school. I know what I'm talking about damn it. I talked him through the food process and he headed back to the car. He was rather pleased with himself when he told me the kitten was a chick magnet. I laughed at him and forgave him for being such an ass. I knew he didn't mean it when he said we should throw that kitten back to the street. He's like I am. We don't react well when we've been frightened and what I did was frightening as hell.

We tried to make light conversation as he walked back to the car. He bought the kitten little silver bowls, but they were too big. We wondered if she'd eat. We jabbered on this way until he got to the car, but we knew we what each of us was really thinking. With her mouth as swollen and out of line as it was would she manage it? Would she actually be able to chew that way? Will she even want to?

I just kept telling Rigid not to worry. She's a fighter. You could hear her meowing on the other end loud and strong. If her jaw was broken I was sure she wouldn't be able to do that right?

There was no way to be sure. Not until he snapped that can open and poured out it's contents would we know if she had a chance to live. Just one little sliver of hope.

To be continued....

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