Monday, September 17, 2007


I haven't been feeling well for a couple of weeks. Just that little bit off. Sleep has been a luxury I haven't had the time for and it seems also to have been eluding me greatly. Last Thursday morning as I was on the way to work I had probably slept 4 hrs in two days. I was a driving zombie. Not good. A driving sleep deprived ADD Zombie on Adderall....even worse.

I drove myself to work knowing full well I should call sick, but I'd called in sick for the exact same reason the previous Friday. Doesn't look good on a 3 day weekend, but screw it I hadn't slept for 2 days. Now there I was the following week in exactly the same situation and no clue why. I figured it was stress. Maybe because I haven't spoken to my sister, or because I feel guilty about something else. What that something might be I may never know...studying? No clue.

So I drove in a haze to work. I was running late but I had plenty of time to get there. I drove to the 5 fwy from the 710 fwy and jumped onto the 10 fwy. I was trying so hard not to be in my head. It's so difficult as it is sometimes to concentrate on driving let alone half asleep and on medication. I forced myself to stay aware. Willed my eyeballs to stay peeled and on the road, but off I went into my hazy lazy daze. I could probably drive to work blindfold you know.

As I came around the bend to the 10 traffic began to slow. Through my fazed out vision I saw the red back lights glow all around and I slowed with traffic. No big. The cars were inching forward and I started to come up the bridge. Suddenly my hazy vision caught a glimpse of a tiny furry black body with a rigid little tail sticking straight up in the air running. Just running down the left side of the bridge. I didn't even think twice. I inched my car closer to the side, opened my door and tried to snatch that little ball of fur, but I just missed.

I quickly checked to make sure there were no cars around me. Traffic was picking up and leaving me behind. As the car behind me started to honk I jumped out of the car, grabbed the kitten and tried to pounce back into my car. I didn't make it.

You see, I never put the car in park. Yeah, I'll say it again. I never put the car in park and unfortunately the wheel had turned in towards the bridge side rail as I reached for the cat so as I tried to jump back in I got caught between the door and the car. The upper part of my leg was being crushed and with the kitten in one hand I grabbed onto the car and held it in place. Somehow just that little bit of pressure kept the car from inching closer to the wall pinching my leg even worse. I ripped my leg out, just squeezed out from between the car and the rail and ran to the other side to try the doors but they were closed.

I ran to the trunk of the car and just hung on. I still had the kitten in one hand and the car in the other. It inched forward again, but I kept it in place. I was nearly hysterical. I wasn't crying, but I was talking to myself. I remember saying, "My God, what the fuck am I doing here? How did I get here? What did I do?...HELP ME!"

I didn't have my phone, cars where whizzing past me and I started to shake. My muscles were going to give out on me and I wasn't going to be able to hang on anymore. No one was stopping and it was looking really grim. Finally I heard a voice behind me. "Hey lady, do you need help?"

I screamed for help and he ran to the front of the car and started to push. I let him know it was in drive. He pushed and I pulled, at this point I thew the kitten into my jacket pocket. We managed to bring the car back far enough that I could open the back door but there still wasn't enough room so we switched. I sat on the hood of the car closest to the rail while he pulled with all his might. He wasn't pulling much, but my legs are strong as hell and between the two of us we managed to push it back at least 3-4 inches, more than enough room for him to squeeze in, get in the front seat, put the brakes on and turn the car off. As he secured the car I broke down into tears. I clung onto the side rail and looked down at a garbage truck by this huge warehouse. The tears slipped down my face, giant fat ones right down to the truck at the bottom of the bridge. The kitten was snuggled away safely in my pocket.

I thanked the man that saved my life and probably the lives of countless others. Then I threw the kitten into the front seat, jumped in the car and shakily drove away.

To be continued...

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